I think, nay, I am certain that I have a serious problem. I have eaten three bowels of honey nut cheerios today. Darn you General Mills and your delicious whole grains and sweetened goodness. Ordinarily three servings of cereal might not be that bad. But the only other things I've had to eat today besides honey nut cheerios are cookies, a bagel, and diet coke. Wait, does water count? To make matters worse, I've practically memorized the entire back of the cheerios box already. Everybody knows that while you eat cereal you are obligated (and privileged!) to read the cartoons and/or complete the activities on the back of the box. For some reason I get some sick satisfaction out of being able to find the 5 hidden objects without having to cheat and look at the bottom of the box for the answers. Yes, I am getting a doctorate. But I'd rather just exercise my brain by helping Buzz find his way through the maze to the beehive on the other side! That seems like such a better use of my time. After all, if Buzz can't get to the honey, who will help support my ever expanding cheerios dependency? Speaking of which, Buzz's face on the front of the box looks a little too cracked out for me. It's kind of a glimpse into my future, say about 2 days from now, when I run out of cereal...Anyways, since I've completed all the activities, mealtime seems more like a chore than a reward. Maybe tomorrow I'll go try to diversify my diet and buy some lucky charms. Lucky always has some fresh, new activities for me. Anyways, I guess the moral of my story is that I'm in desperate need of a steak and I wish I could have a career focused on studying the back of cereal boxes. Someone sits around thinking those up all day...I could be that someone! Oh, I forgot...I also had a handful of raisins. Yours truly,
Iron Deficient in Boston (But definitely not lacking in fiber. Whole grains are an excellent source of fiber. Thanks Buzz!)
*all profanity in this article should have been removed. sorry to offend any readers.
